Gone are the days where you need Instagram followers and your Mom to tell you how good looking you are.
Enter prettyscale.com. It’s a website/computer generated self-esteem crusher that does exactly what the name suggests: it measures your prettiness on a scale of 1-100. And how does it do that? Here’s what the website claims:
“PrettyScale measures face beauty by studying and testing the placement and sizes of different face features. The results are based on the face shape, distance between eyes and lips, mouth size and face symmetry.”
Symmetry. Got it. A simple math equation to tell you how pretty you are. What could go wrong? Aren’t you curious to know your score? I was. Naturally I tried it… in admittedly the most unnatural way possible. I made sure I was clean shaven, hair just right. Then, about 20 snaps later using soft lighting and careful cropping, I was ready to upload my best selfie. I was quite proud of myself when the site gave me an 88%: certified “pretty”. If only the people in high school who used to know me with braces and cystic acne could see me now.
To my surprise, the site doesn’t JUST tell you if you’re pretty or ugly, it goes into detail by listing off the things that are right and wrong with your face. For example, apparently I have a “normal forehead size” — lucky me!
But, like most things in life, prettyscale.com will build you up, only to tear you down. My computer was suddenly judging me for my “small chin” and “bad face symmetry”. Oh. They even highlight your flaws in bold to be sure you won’t miss them. Pretty really does hurt. Anxiety immediately kicked in and I tried re-uploading more photos to fix my score (for the sole purpose of sharing it in this article, of course). But my percentage only got worse. It’s like the website was on to my scheme.
So what happens now that you have a complex about your small chin and wonk-eye? Nothing. Because you were warned with a scary disclaimer while your photo uploads.
“If you have low-self esteem or/and confidence issues, please do not take the test.” See, I had my chance to turn back. So, like in most situations, I refused to go down alone. I thought it would be funny to share this with my friends. But learn from me… that is a bad idea. Even if you have the best looking friends in the world, any score given to them that they aren’t satisfied with WILL be your fault. They WILL blame you for their poor symmetry and 62% face.
So, to make everyone feel better about themselves, it became my goal to prove that this website is not a real indication of how beautiful anyone is. I decided to upload the face of 2017’s Most Beautiful Woman according to People magazine: Julia Roberts. This was her fifth time receiving the title, I figured she wouldn’t mind playing guinea pig. The magazine publishes an annual issue, listing their picks. And as you can see below, it includes “52 pages of beauties.”
Shockingly, she only got a 74% — just a “good looking” ranking, not even “pretty”. I’m offended for her. She was also torn apart on her “face analysis report”…
Apparently her nose is too long, her mouth is too wide, and her chin it too big. Their words, not mine. But on the bright side, she DOES have a normal sized forehead (she’s in great company). That should help her sleep at night. So in the end, we’re left with two options: either I’m prettier than Julia Roberts, or this website is just a joke. I’ll let you decide.